Bleh

Morning sickness (or all day sickness) is not getting better... in fact, right now it's the worst it's been. I didn't exactly eat well today, but it's still been pretty bad all day long. Josh and I stayed up until 10:30 making stupid potato pancakes for his food day, and this morning the kitchen still smelled like frying potatoes and it nearly made me yak. I had a rough morning, too, work was just stressful. Not that I'm not still thrilled and excited everytime I think about the fact that I'm going to have a baby in September, I'm just a little cranky, too! Just for fun, though, this is about what my baby looks like...

Hard to believe that is growing inside of me. I had a hard time today because I went out with the teachers after school and we were all sitting around and one of the teachers has been trying to get pregnant for a year or more and she isn't pregnant yet. We were talking about the tests they are having to run and all the hoops to jump through. I feel bad even telling her! It made me think of the Robbs, too, because I'm going to feel so bad telling them when they don't even have their baby yet! I mean, I know they'll be really happy for us, but it just makes me so sad to watch them go through everything they've gone through because they will make such fantastic parents. I guess everybody is given a burden of some sort to carry. Anyway... I'm exhausted, so I'm headed to bed... here's hoping I can get through the Youth Road Trip without yakking (or giving away my pregnancy) tomorrow!

Now what?

Ok, so it was the exciting news last week... and several days of being absolutely thrilled and ecstatic, etc, etc... but now as I am in the middle of week 6, I am feeling morning sickness, except that it's all day. And I'm exhausted. Staying up until 9:15 is quite the chore. And I just have to keep reminding myself that this amazing news that is in the forefront of my mind pretty much at all times isn't even known to anyone else. I talked with Mom this afternoon and she asked how life was, and I couldn't really even answer her. It was weird because I am not one to keep secrets from my mom, and this is a really big secret! I really wanted to tell her, but, at the same time, I'm not really ready for everyone to know, either. Anyway, mostly I'm just ready for bed... and really I am always ready for bed this week!

Time To Go To Work!

Ok, so I ordinarily love to have extra days off of shool, but we've had 2 days in a row off because of the ice (not to mention Monday because of the holiday) and I'm bored. And with the rather earth-shattering/life-changing news we've had, I've been rather baby obsessed the last couple of days. I spent this morning looking through WebMD's pregnancy section, including reading through the week by week description of what'll be happening. It makes me very, very excited, but it also makes it very, very hard not to call someone and tell them. I wish Martha still worked with e, because then I could talk to her about it, and I could ask her what to expect at my first appointment, etc, etc. Anyway... I'm not really having any symptoms except for the whole lack of period thing. I just don't know how I'm going to wait until the end of February to tell anyone!!!

Perspective Switch

Maybe it's just because I've been stuck at home the last couple of days with no school because of the ice, but it seems like my whole perspective has changed. I don't go very long without thinking about the fact that there's a little baby growing inside me. It's hard to believe, because, while I know I'm a grown up, I feel like the same kid I was in high school and college. I just don't believe I am really pregnant, and I am really ready to have a kid. I guess it will start to sink in as we get to that first appointment and get to tell people. And as we start to turn the blue room into a nursery. Until then I will just keep being surprised every time I remember!

Total Lack of Self Control

Ok, so I have no self control, and I lasted all the way until Monday, but I did take the pregnancy test first thing this morning. It took less than a minute for the thing to register and it said...




So anyway, WE'RE PREGNANT!!! No going back now; we're stuck! Josh and I are both so excited we could just pee our pants, but at the same time we can't really wrap our minds around it. I did call for my doctor's appointment, and that wasn't the happiest experience, because I found out that my doctor isn't taking anymore obstetrics cases, so I had to pick a new doctor, and the lady wasn't all that helpful. And the only appointment I could get was at 8:45 on a Tuesday, definitely not convenient since I'll have to take off a whole day from school. Oh well, I've got lots of sick days, I'll just have to tell Linda why I have to take the whole day off because of a doctor's appointment. Anyway, then I'm not really sure I ever gave the lady my name, so I've been really tempted to call back but she wasn't very helpful the first time, so I felt stupid, and I don't want to feel stupid again. But I also don't want to get there at the end of February and find out that there isn't an appointment because there isn't a name. So I don't know what to do. Anyway, I am way excited about the whole pregnancy thing, but aa little overwhelmed all at the same time. And Josh is dealing with it by staying very busy, which is difficult when the whole outside world is iced... so he's cleaning the kitchen... not that I mind! :) Anyway, this is a whole new adventure we've now officially embarked upon... And it is only with God's blessings that we've embarked, and only with His blessings that we'll succeed!

...And Waiting

Still waiting... still no period... having to practically physically restrain myself from taking the pregnancy test that I have in my bathroom cabinet. I could have taken it as soon as my period was late (Thursday) but I have this thing with taking those tests really early. If it comes out positive and then I miscarry, that will be really hard. But if my period just starts late (even if it's because of a miscarriage), at least then I won't have had the joy of the positive test, so the fall won't be as far! So I am waiting until I am at least a week late... I will probably take the test next Thursday so that I can call the doctor's office on Friday if it's positive. It scares me to think that I might really be pregnant now. Today we went to the big garage sale, and there were all kinds of baby clothes and toys and furniture and stuff, and I really wanted to buy some, but I couldn't. I did buy some kid books, but I can get away with them because I'm such a book fiend. Bobbie actually had the cutest outfit with a scottie on the front, would have been good for a boy or a girl, and I really, really, REALLY wanted it, but I just couldn't do it. It's hard to think that, if I am pregnant, I'll still have to wait until the end of February or the beginning of March to tell my family. How in the world am I going to keep a secret that long?!

Still Waiting...

Well, the last several months my period has started and stopped at least once in the week preceeding when it actually started... and this month it hasn't. I am from now until Thursday from my period's theoretical start date, and I haven't seen pink spot number one... So that's good... my stomach has been feeling off for the last week or so... but that is probably because of the radically increased amounts of ab workouts I've been doing lately! :) Anyway... I just needed something to do tonight, something to talk to... I hold my breath every time I go to the bathroom, just hoping that it doesn't start. On the 20th, if I haven't started, I will take the pregnancy test that's been sitting in my bathroom drawer for almost 6 months! Here's hoping I last that long...

I have been checking a blog of a friend of mine, and she is pregnant... she is my age, and I don't check her blog very often, but I checked it and she has a picture of her sonogram, and I am just insanely jealous. I can't wait to have one of those myself... I just can't decide whether I want to do the ornament thing or the card-from-your-grandchild plan... they're both just such fun! :) Anyway... here's hoping I get to do something soon! :)

Teasers

So this morning I woke up with an upset stomach for no good reason... tried to reason with myself that it was way too early for it to be morning sickness, but all the logic in the world won't convince myself... it did pass, but the sense of hope will only make the start of my period in a week and a half that much harder! Oh well... the hope is still worth it!

On another note... I weigh 195 lbs right now, and don't want to. Josh and I have joined a gym and started back on the diet that was so successful for him last year. I hope that I am better at sticking with it this year. We shall see... although if I get pregnant losing weight really becomes a moo point... "It's like a cow's opinion, it's Moo!" Anyway... back to my motto... we will see...