My View

When I look in my rearview mirror, this is what I see, and it makes me happy every time (even when she's screaming her head off).

On another note, for those of you wondering... today was a better day then yesterday, although still not good. The bummer of today was that I was in an all day meeting across town, so I didn't get to nurse her at lunch time. But I made it through the day, and I was so excited to get out of my meeting and head across town to pick her up I almost couldn't stand it. I guess it will keep getting easier, although it probably won't ever be easy.

Really Hard

Well, today I went back to work. The work part I enjoyed, since I really like my job. Unfortunately, I can't bring my sweet baby with me, so I had to leave her at daycare. No matter how much we liked the daycare we picked out, it killed me to leave her there.

They were really nice about it, they told me to stay as long as I wanted to. But the longer I stayed, the more I cried. So I just waited until she was asleep (she was already pretty asleep when I got there) and handed her off. But I couldn't go to work sobbing, so I thought I'd grab a cup of coffee... not helpful. So I went to Mom's work instead. I needed a hug, and someone who had been there to tell me it was ok and she would be ok and it would get better. Mom and Sherry and Carrie told me all those things, then we talked a little. And I managed to get all the way to work without crying. But then the first person I saw in my office said "Welcome back! Was it hard to leave her?" To which I wanted to say, "No, I enjoyed leaving my 6 week old baby whom I love more than I thought possible with total strangers so that I could come back to work even though all I really want is to be able to stay home with her and the last six weeks have been nearly perfect for me." But all I said was Yes, and, of course, teared up again. However, my boss was really sweet, she told me to make whatever adjustments to my schedule that I needed to make. And all of my immediate coworkers were really nice, too. They got me flowers and a gift certificate to Super Suppers, which was really sweet. And they were very understanding all day; nobody really expects me to do a lot of after school stuff for a couple of weeks. So once I got to work, I was a lot better. And I got to go see Elena at lunch and nurse her, which was really nice.

I think her first day at daycare went better for her than for me! She slept a lot, and ate, and sat in the swing... sounds like a good day for a baby! I've never been so excited to see her as I was when I got to go pick her up. Tomorrow may be a little rougher, because I have an all day meeting, so I won't be able to go nurse her at lunch. But, hopefully, I'll make it through without too much trouble. Either way, I guess I'll get used to it, and it'll get better.

Six Weeks

Well, this will be a short post because I'm supposed to be packing for Springfield right now, not posting on the blog! :) But I couldn't resist a 6 week post, because I can't believe my baby girl is that old already! So here are a few pics from her sixth week of life!

We went to Shelter Gardens for a walk. Both of us needed it- she was cranky and I was stir crazy. So we headed out. Not that she knew she was there, because she did this most of the walk! But it was good for both of us!

It's been cold here the last couple of days, so whenever we went out she was all bundled up. She looks so adorable in this little green outfit, and the bib and the hat just made her that much cuter! The hat, since you can't tell, says "Got Milk?" across the front.

Aunt Yaya came over to make sure her flower girl dress fit... We wrestled Elena into it, and she promptly yakked all over it! But it came out, and the dress is still adorable on her! Here's hoping she doesn't scream all the way down the aisle!

She practiced looking "thug-tastic" in her carrier.
Rested on Daddy, the best place to lay!
Read (or chewed on) her favorite book... that darn Mommy is already pushing books on the poor baby! :)

Well, it was kind of a bittersweet week, since it was my last week home with her. On Monday I have to go back to work. :( I am definitely learning that there is some give and take... This week, Monday was not a very good day for us. Elena was cranky the whole day (I think she wasn't feeling very well, because she went through a lot of diapers and spit up several times). Her being cranky makes me cranky, because I spend all day doing the "baby jiggle" and everything else I know of to help her feel better, and nothing works. Plus, Josh was gone all evening, so it continued all evening as well. And Truman was mad about something (probably the baby crying all day) so he tipped over every water glass he could find if left unsupervised (and, sometimes, while supervised) for more then a minute. So it was an ugly day all around. But then yesterday Elena was all smiles. She was content to hang out in her swing, her bouncy seat, being held, laying on the floor, whatever you wanted her to do. It was a day I definitely needed! Today we went to visit Midway Elementary and hung out with all of the teachers for lunch. I am very sad to have to go back to work on Monday, I think the only thing saving my sanity is knowing that she will be so close.

Someone asked me today if I could remember what life was like without her, and I really can't. She has so quickly become a part of us that it's hard to imagine life without her. It's unbelievable the amount of love we can feel for something so small, that can't even talk to us. But contentment for me is taking a nap on the couch under an afghan with a baby on my chest. Life just doesn't get much sweeter...

Really Cool!

Well, this came in the mail last week and was really exciting! My daughter is a real live person now! :) Not that she wasn't before, but there was something cool about getting a social security card for her in the mail.

Short and Stocky?!

Elena and I went to her checkup yesterday. We actually spent Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday mornings in doctors' offices between my check. up, a glucose test (gag), and her checkup. But her's was definitely the most exciting. Everybody was excited to see what she weighs now. So, here are her stats...

weight: 8 lbs, 13 oz
length/height: 20 7/8"

So, she's grown an inch and 5/8, but gained 2 pounds!! So she's now in the 25th percentile for height and the 45th for weight! Which is what led Dr. Garb to say she was short and stocky! To which I thought, "Well, she comes by that honestly!" She let him know exactly how powerful her lungs were when he examined her ears. She screamed like I've never heard her scream before. Now I'm really not looking forward to the next appointment, when she'll be getting shots!

5 Weeks

Well, Elena is 5 weeks old now. As with the first 4 weeks, week 5 was a busy week!

She had her first bottle. Which was pretty ugly the first time, but she's practically a pro at it now!

She went to her first big youth event, and her first football game (at the same time). We went to the HHS vs RB Providence Bowl, then to the church for a lock-in. Yes, Elena stayed all night. She really just followed her normal schedule. I, on the other hand only got 2 hours of sleep!

It was chilly during the game, so we had to break out the warm clothes. This is an adorable fleece outfit from Aunt Jessica. It fit surprisingly well, except for the hood! If we put the hood on she looked like a Jedi! We did realize that with a green outfit, a green blanket, and a green stroller. she was all decked out in the wrong colors! But she was warm, and we sat on the Hickman side, so it was clear who she was rooting for!

she also got to wear her first Halloween onesie... Who said horizontal stripes aren't flattering?!

And, most importantly, she practiced her "Josh face"

Anyway, it was a great week. My last full week at home, since we leave for Springfield on Wed. next week. She's changing so fast, she holds up her head a lot more. And she smiles a lot, though I don't know if she's really doing it on purpose. She is also definitely showing her temper. She has the stiff-as -a-board, back arched, screaming routine down pat! our life is going to be very interesting! But, even in the midst of a screaming tantrum, we still love her!

Relief

Well, Josh and I found a daycare for Elena. It's a center, which wasn't our first choice. But we like this one, and it is literally next door to my office. So I can go nurse her at lunch if I want to, which is really nice. It really ended up being a God-thing. I had called that center and gotten on their waiting list when I was first looking for daycares. Yesterday I called a bunch of in-home daycares, and couldn't find ANYONE with an opening. So, on a whim, I called this center again. She said they didn't have any openings, and I could get on the wait list. When I told her I was already on the wait list, she said that was a different story- they had one opening and were calling around for someone to fill it. So she checked, and I was actually the next person on her list to call. Anyway... Josh and I went to visit last night, and we liked the manager, and it was clean, and bright... so we're going to go with it. I love the idea that I can go and nurse her at lunch if I want to. It's a huge sense of relief to know that we have a place to take her, and we're comfortable with it.

But I'm still dreading going back to work... I have 10 more days... :(

Four Weeks

Well, this may seem redundant, but it's hard to believe that Elena is 4 weeks old already! She'll be a whole month tomorrow!! She is growing like a weed! She seems to be developing a bit of a routine (despite Josh and I dragging her all over the place). She usually sleeps four or five hours at a time at night, which is wonderful! Days are a little more scattered, but she usually takes one or two good naps, and a few little ones. She's smiling a lot more, too, which is really fun. Anyway, like the first three weeks, week four was a busy week for Miss Elena...

Sunbathing... she's definitely her mother's daughter!

We went to Springfield for a long weekend... while there, Elena...

...helped paint at Aunt Jessie's new house (working hard)

...went on her first trip to Silver Dollar City! Not sure she saw much of it, though, this is what she looked like during most of the day!

...met her cousins (I really have no idea what the actual term for how they're related is... the little boys are Josh's great-aunt's grandsons) and they loved her (of course)

When we got home from Springfield on Monday, Elena helped Mommy and Daddy clean out the garage.

And she took another bath... this time with Truman's help!

Anyway, another exciting week in the life of a newborn! She was really good for the whole Springfield trip... Josh and I learned that a baby may be small, but they require LOADS OF STUFF! By the time we got the stroller, the pack-n-play, the diapers, etc all in the car, there was barely room for Elena! It was even worse going back, when we had my bridesmaid's dress and baby presents to add to the mess! Check out this shot of the back seat (keep in mind, the trunk was full, too!). Despite all of the stuff she had to travel with, it was a good trip. Elena was great at Silver Dollar City, too. She slept most of the time and was content most of the time she was awake, as long as the stroller didn't stop moving and she wasn't hungry. Silver Dollar City has nursing stations, which made life much easier for me. Of course, once she decided she was starving to death on the opposite side of the park from all of the stations. So that did result in one sprint across the park for me, with a screaming (and I mean SCREAMING) infant in the stroller. Every head turned as I went past, and I felt like putting a sign on the stroller- "I'm not abusing her, she's just hungry!" But a great trip overall!

Frustration

Well, we found a lady who we really liked to watch Elena after I go back to work in 3 weeks. She is really nice, her house is nice and clean, and she's only going to take a couple kids. So Josh and I were both really relieved to have that settled. Until we got home tonight, and there is a message on the machine from her- she's pregnant, and has to keep working so that she has the insurance, so she's not going to start her daycare. So we are back at square one for daycare, except that now we only have 3 weeks to figure it out. It's definitely borderline panic time, but I'm still just going to trust God that He will provide the right person at the right time... even if the right time is (clearly) a little later than I would prefer!

It's GONE!

The umbilical cord is GONE! It finally fell off last night, which is good because it was seriously grossing me out. It was hanging on by a thread and it really smelled gross. It made me dread changing her diaper because I'd have to look at it and smell it. So we really had a party when it fell off last night! Her little belly looks so much cuter now!

To celebrate, we gave Elena her first tub bath! She liked it so much better than the lay-on-the-counter-and-get-wiped-down baths that she's been getting. I put some of the cutest pictures below... enjoy! :)

3 Weeks

**I know this post is late, since Elena was actually 3 weeks on Wednesday, but Blogger and I have been having some disagreements.**

Well, Elena is 3 weeks old now, which is very hard to believe. Here are some pictures from her escapades this week... She...

went to lunch at Grinders with the girls, and tried out her new sling...

took a sponge bath and, well, didn't like it much!

hung out in her swing...

spent lots of time with Aunt Jess

went to her first of many church suppers

wore her first bow (with the all-yellow outfit, we were afraid she'd look like a boy!)

met her great-grandma and grandpa Holt

took a beautiful picture... in her second bow!

went to Grandma & Grandpa Price's house for Aunt Ruthie's birthday... and took a nap with Daddy while she was there!

So it was obviously another busy week for the newborn, and we've been enjoying a couple of quiet days at home. Adjusting to life with a newborn continues... she decided to celebrate being 3 weeks old on Wednesday by screaming from 10:00 until midnight, then refusing to sleep until 1:00. So that was fun. But Elena is still a generally good baby, and I am loving watching her get bigger and stronger everyday. She can hold her head up for longer now, and weighs 8 pounds or so. She spends more time awake everyday, which is a blessing sometimes, and, well, not so much at other times (like 1:00 am). It makes me kind of sad to think that she is 3 weeks old, because that means my maternity leave is half over, and I'll have to go back to work soon. But we have found a daycare, so that is one less thing to worry about. So, for now, I'm going to not focus on how soon I have to go back to work, but instead on enjoying the time I have at home with her. She is beautiful and we are both really enjoying her... In the next week we'll take her on her first trip to Springfield and Silver Dollar City, so I'm sure there will be lots of cute pictures from that trip! :)

Four

My grandparents were in town this weekend to meet Elena. We had a good time; it was neat to have four generations of Banwart/Holt/Price/Looten women all together.